february dispatch
imposter syndrome as an artist, house sitting, and new project excitement
Dear Reader,
It’s already midway through February. It feels both like time is dragging on and also speeding up. How is that possible? I had every intention of having a nice quiet winter, but instead I made lots of plans and have been quite busy. It’s been nice to have some new projects in the works and get my wheels turning.
I often struggle with enjoying the process vs getting annoyed and impatient that things aren’t happening quickly enough. It’s been grey and blah outside until this past week we got a lot of beautiful, glorious snow. Things feel so much more magical when there’s snow. I do try to lean into the romanticization of winter so that I don’t go crazy with cabin fever.
I was taking a break from social media but then I fell back into checking it daily again. At least I haven’t been having Instagram on my phone. I see that TikTok is able to be downloaded again but I feel my time on that platform has come to end for my own sanity.
Fiber Arts vs Retail Business
I’ve been working on a new project of turning my studio space into a shared community sewing space. I’m still working out the exact details and I’m trying to let myself start out small instead of not implementing it unless it can be 100% perfect right off the bat. My vision is to have memberships where people from my community can come and use the space to sew, dye, cut fabric, work on projects and hang out.
I spent a lot of time in the sewing room in high school sharing ideas and co-working with my friends and I am hoping to recreate that magical energy. I am also hoping to use the membership fees to help cover the cost of my studio rent instead of feeling the pressure to sell things.
I’ve been feeling called to focus more on craft and textile education vs retail lately and am trying to trust the process here. I was planing an inspiration and research trip to Praxis Fiber Workshop in Cleveland to tour their space as motivation, but we had a massive blizzard all throughout the Midwest this week so I had to postpone. I’m hoping to have a similar model to Praxis where I have four open studio days and folks can drop in during those hours to work on projects. It was definitely unrealistic for me to have this idea up and running by the end of the month, so now I am shooting for the end of April.
Something I’ve been wanting to do for a while is to begin a fine art practice. I have felt a lot of imposter syndrome about this desire as there is a snooty distinction between art with a capital A and craft which is perceived as not as esteemed. I find this perspective extremely outdated and hierarchical. Just because something has a utilitarian purpose, does that make it not art? Does that make it less valuable? I know the art world is riddled with posturing and elitism and you can only be legitimate if you have an expensive MFA but I say screw that. I’m doing it anyway!!
I applied to an artist residency and made an artist CV. Despite only attending one residency and never haven participated in an art show, I am doing the damn thing. I am also working on making work and documenting it and submitting it to small local shows. I’m in that excited phase where I wish I could just have a body of work made and documented and ready to share with the world and an artist website and I’m trying to slow it down and remember to savor the process of things. I have an idea for a project that I really want to create and I am practicing keeping this to myself so I don’t get the joy of sharing the idea of it and then lose steam on actually doing it.
Sewing
I have always loved the 19th century French artist smock look and have been wanting to make my own version to wear at my studio. I often struggle with the right studio uniform that doesn’t feel sloppy and like I’m wearing pajamas but is also comfortable and easy to work in. Today I sewed my own version of a “studio smock”. I forgot to consider adding side seam pockets, so I’m going to add some patch pockets to the front. It was fun adding the red contrast stitching! I want to do more of these small details in my handmade clothes.
Reading
I read the book My Cousin Rachel by Daphne Du Maurier and enjoyed it immensely! I stayed up too late many nights in a row and finished it in five days. All of her books have this gothic slowly unfolding creepy mystery vibe. Soooo good. I also have the book Room With a View by EM Forster but I haven’t picked up steam on reading that yet. The movie version with Helena Bonham Carter from the 80s is so dreamy! I should dig into that later instead of bringing my laptop to bed (a habit I always break and then relapse on).
Watching
I watched the BBC mini series of North & South on Kanopy and really enjoyed it. It’s based on the novel of the same name by Elizabeth Gaskell that I read last year. Think Jane Austen, but based in the industrial north of England and throw in some class consciousness and a touch of socialism.
The other day I watched the romantic comedy Your Monster on Max. It’s so hard to find a good romcom these days that isn’t unbearably cheesy. This one was funny and had Broadway musical elements (a plus for me). I would recommend it!!
Dinner Party
My friends Anya and Megan came over for dinner and I prepared a Middle Eastern mezze vegan spread. We had muhammara, tabbouleh, hummus, garlic sauce, homemade pita, mujadara and olives. Megan made the homemade pita and brought it in this adorable basket with this terracotta slab that you warm in the oven and then put in the bottom of the basket to keep the bread warm. Genius! Cozy dinner parties with friends are in my top five favorite activities.
Staycation
I have been enjoying a pet sitting staycation at my friend’s place for the last several days. Pet sitting is my favorite side hustle as I don’t have any pets and love to live vicariously through snuggling other peoples’ pets. I’ve been getting lots of snuggles in with her cat and dog and enjoying having lot of alone time. I’ve been so busy with back to back workshops and pop ups this month so far — it’s been nice having time to decompress after constant socialization and being “on”. She also has a fantastic kitchen with lots of counter space that I am taking advantage of!
Well, that’s all from me for now. I’m going to be traveling a lot for the next month or so and will be sharing about that soon.
xoxo
Meg