autumn equinox

fall rituals that mark the new season

Last weekend I was on an Amtrak to Chicago to visit my sister for the weekend. I always enjoy listening to the Tara Brach podcast whenever I’m in transit because I find it very calming. Tara Brach is a brilliant Buddhist teacher and I have enjoyed her meditations and Dharma talks for years. In and out of a 6:30am train ride haze of sleep, I listened to this interview with Tara on the 10% Happier podcast and it completely blew me away. Like, crying on a train filled with people blown away. I am really interested in working towards bettering myself through self care, healthy habits and what have you. Sometimes I wonder where the line is of wanting to better myself to be healthier and happier vs the never ending search to fill a void that hedges on a persistent “not enoughness”. In this podcast episode, Tara talks about how when we unpack our goals and motivations and keep asking “why” it always ends up distilling down to the desire for love and acceptance. I have been thinking a lot lately about what radical self acceptance looks like as a person who is unceasingly hard on myself. If you struggle with negative self talk and self acceptance and are interested in spirituality, I highly recommend giving this episode a listen.

Wearing

I bought a pair of Big Bud Press bell bottoms last weekend at their store in Chicago and have been wearing them nonstop ever since. They are in the color “fudgsicle” and are perfect for fall. I like pairing them with my red Adidas Gazelle sneakers. Brown and red are really my colors for this season.

Listening

I have been listening to the book Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman on audiobook (it’s cheesy and almost unbearable but I carry on anyway). It’s fun to listen to an autumnal book during this time of the year.

I was looking up a nice Autumn Equinox playlist to listen to during my bread baking autumn ritual and I found this playlist on Spotify. It felt like the perfect balance of nostalgic and really hit that feeling I was looking for.

Reading

I have been slowly making progress on the book I Capture the Castle. I’m still getting back on the wagon with my reading and have only read a few chapters. I think I’m starting to finally get into it but the jury’s still out.

Making

I just cast on the Sophie Scarf by Petite Knit. I started swatching for a cable knit cardigan but I just don’t have the dedicated attention span for that right now. I’m excited for a nice and easy garter stitch knit neck scarf. All the Danish girlies on Instagram are wearing little scarves like this and I forever aspire to be on their level. I am using a skein of Paton’s Classic Wool from my stash and size 3.25mm needles.

I haven’t made much progress yet on my studio uniform (as detailed in my previous dispatch), but I did purchase and wash 6 yards of black and undyed canvas from Big Duck Canvas’s 20% sale. It feels like a solid, utilitarian choice for studio attire.

Cooking

In honor of the Autumn Equinox, I decided to make a beautiful toadstool focaccia that I saw on Instagram. I have been thinking about trying to create some “focaccia art” for a while now after admiring many photos and videos of people making them online and I finally did it. I enjoyed listening the aforementioned autumn playlist while making this. It felt very peaceful and the perfect way to usher in this new season. The toadstools are created using cherry tomatoes and yellow onion. I made the grass using fresh parsley. It was delicius and a delight to enjoy! Here is the recipe that I used.

before baking

after baking

One recipe I love to make every year is the Smitten Kitchen pumpkin bread. It’s so tall and puffy and delicious! I have yet to find someone who doesn’t love it. It’s really quick to whip up the ingredients. I highly recommend it.

This weekend, I went apple picking at Spicer’s Orchard with my friend Emily. We hadn’t seen each other in a while and spent the whole day together picking apples, walking around the orchard and catching up. It’s such a delightful fall activity! I love these annual rituals that mark time and seasons of life. After we picked a half peck of apples, we went home and made this apple crisp. I followed this simple recipe from Sally’s Baking Addiction. We made a vegetable peanut noodle dish to break up the apple overload and then enjoyed this crisp while watching Practical Magic. That movie is great for vibes, soundtrack and aesthetics but leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to plot and pacing.

On Autumn and Death

I have been thinking a lot about death and the general impermanence of things. I accidentally permanently deleted all the notes on my phone and they could not be recovered. I had some of them backed up onto my iPad and saved the old notes that I still wanted while it was on airplane mode and let go of the ones I didn’t need to digitally hoard. I came across a poem I had written in 2019 after the death of my partner’s grandma. She was an extremely importang figure in his life, and I had the pleasure of having a beautiful relationship with her for five years before she passed. We were all very close and her death impacted me significantly. It’s now the 4th anniversary of her passing and I’m thinking about the ripple effects of her intense, Italian grandmother love. She had a passion for cinema that has impacted their entire family and led my partner Justin and his sister into their film careers. She had a love of food and cooking and created the most warm and nurturing atmosphere that I haven’t experienced before or since. She was a really special person.

you're gone but we still have your spice cabinet

Used up the last of the italian seasoning

We still have three jars of turmeric

Whenever I cook with them, I think of you

What would you think if you ate this meal with us?

What were you going to cook with these ingredients?

Even if it was horrible, I know you would say it's delicious

You're gone but we still have your spice cabinet

When these old spices run out, all we have is your memory

you're gone but we have your things